It was about time we talked about it …

Our whole lives we are told to fit in, you should also stand out, but don’t stand out too much, or that might make you “weird” - GASP! 

I used to believe that standing out too much would draw too much attention to me, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be seen, or honestly who I really was if I was to be seen in the first place. So I decided to try and fit in, which most people do, right? 

Fitting in meant following the status quo, doing the things that seemed “right”. Rather than doing the things that felt Real to me. 

I remember the first time it was so obvious to me. I was sitting in class in JMU communications school, and a professor mentioned that “when” we get a job at an agency, this is how we should be writing our feedback, that's why we were getting this assignment in class. 

When I was in school if I got an assignment I did it right away, it was a part of my perfectionist controlling personality. (I still struggle with this at times). So naturally after I got the assignment I went home and started typing. By the end of the paper I was so proud of myself. I even had a family member read over it (since hello, I'm terrible at grammar) . I could have used some extra eyes before the final draft was submitted. 

When I got the paper back, I received an F. There were multiple markings all over the paper, it looked like my paper was put through a pen fight, LOL, looking back now this can be funny, but at the time I was heart broken. 

I had to go to office hours so I could speak with my professor in person, I asked “What did you think was wrong with the paper overall”. He said, “You completely missed the assignment, no one in the real world would ever accept a paper like that.”

I stood there, suddenly feeling nauseous. Well if I didn’t fit in here, where the hell was I supposed to fit in? A common feeling I had throughout my life, but nevertheless still painful. 

Have you all experienced anything like this before? Where you were quite literally told, you don’t fit in, you’re not good enough?

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